by John Farmer
Valentine’s Day is upon us; some of us dread it while others simply love it. The same goes for the use of technology on, what can be, a highly emotional and/or possibly romance filled evening.
Whether you’ve got that certain special someone, or plan to hibernate on the couch for the whole of February 14th, getting through all of the balloons and heart-shaped boxes only requires a few dos and don’ts of technology usage.
DO: Send texts to your significant other (S.O.). It’s Valentine’s Day! If you’re not sending flirty little texts to your husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend you probably don’t have a cell phone. If this is the case, please, go buy a cell phone. You can buy a cellular phone practically anywhere; even gas stations carry them nowadays.
DON’T: Text random people you don’t know and confess your undying love for them, it’s just creepy. You never know if that random number is actually a landline. When you text a landline, the person on the other end will get a strange call from a robot, that robot will subsequently attempt to read your passionate text. As we all know, robots are horrible at pronunciation. Talk about a miscommunication!
DO: Send your S.O. random pictures and thoughts surrounding your day. This will let them know that you are thinking of them. Take a picture of your lunch or a moody picture of the landscape outside of your window at work; S.O.s eat that stuff up!
DON’T: Send your S.O. pictures of your cat. It’s your cat… nobody cares.
DO: Use texts or phone calls to communicate with your lover if you have made plans and you are running late or have to cancel. Nothing is worse than being stood up on Valentine’s Day. Last time I was stood up on February 14th, I ate four stuffed-crust cheese pizzas and woke up in the fetal position under my car near the engine compartment.
DON’T: Sleep under your car near the engine compartment, most likely there’s already a cat there. Cats do not like sharing.
DON’T: Drink and text. Pining for your ex or crush through a drunken text usually leads to horrible grammar. Nothing good ever comes from bad grammar.
DON’T: Text and drive. Even if you’re running late for your date or being flirty cute, texting and driving is just a bad idea. According to the U.S. Department of Transportation, nearly 3,500 people died as a result of distracted driving in 2011.